Senin, 11 April 2011

7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)

The actual description on the case says the following:
 Seven child martial arts experts – Small Pepper, Bill Sh*t, Rocky, Hairy, Two Feet, Mut Head and Fatty – try to return a stolen diamond to its rightful owner
An IMDB review:
I first bought this film on videocassette around 1990 for a couple of quid from a market stall. My friends and I were around 12 years old at the time and were already huge fans of the chop-socky genre. The confused, muddled plots and badly translated dubbing were THE cornerstones of an enjoyable summer’s afternoon back then – before we became more ‘sophisticated’ hoodlum teenagers. we used to re-wind sequences of dialogue. Again and again and again.And again. And again until we almost wet ourselves with laughter.
This is no Kubrick classic. BUT it has a place in my heart simply because we used to laugh so hard over it. It’s basically a kind of a pre-dated kung-fu ‘Goonies’. But just SO much more ridiculous.
They have the most ridiculous names – Dum Dum, Pepper, Rocky, Fatty and, on my original VHS cover, one was even named Bulls**t (?!)
Their costume changes allow constant amusement. In one restaurant scene they are all decked out in some kind of bizarre cobalt coloured knickerbockers/beret combo.
Also they have a constant need to put their arms around each other’s shoulders and chant “Seven Lucky Kids All For One!!! Yeaaaah!!” This is always filmed by an upward camera shot from the centre of their circle.
Check it out. If the idea of kids and adults, wearing ridiculous garments, knocking seven bells out of one another after saying things that do not make sense whilst wearing ridiculous costumes is your idea of fun – you will not be disappointed.
This movie is non-stop unintentional hilarity. These seven kids are on this quest to get this diamond back to its rightful owner, and the ridiculous bad guys won’t stop till these kids are freaking DEAD! The kids get the crap beat out of them by bad guys wearing eye patches and sunglasses, all the while getting closer to their goal. There are so many hilarious lines in this, and the horribly amazing english dubbing only makes them more enjoyable. It’s like a crazy chop-sockey film meets The Three Ninjas, all set to amazing Hong Kong music and written by drug-addled chinese men. Here’s a couple animations made from the movie so you can get an idea of its epic awesomeness:
 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)
 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)
 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)
 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)
 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)
It’s not my rip, so thanks to Wings at Cgeddon who originally upped it. Enjoy!

DOWNLOAD 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1986)

Kamis, 07 April 2011

Lucky Seven

  • Directed by Chao Chen something
  • Starring
    • Chiao something
    • Yang Wei
    • Tsu Yu Ta
    • Lin Tung something
    • Cheng Wei Pai
I have no idea what movie this originally was; the title “7 Lucky Ninja Kids” is superimposed in bad digital lettering over a still screencap in the middle of the credits, which tells me that someone, somewhere, has released this under another title. [Edit: Astute reader Gerard points out that this is also known as Lucky 7. It may also have been released under the franchise title "Thunder Ninja Kids."] What I can tell you is that the few people who have seen this current incarnation and commented on in on the IMDb have done so with a uniformity of opinion, ranging from “eh” to “blech.”
What are they, NUTS?! I loved this. I’m not saying that it’s high art, but I giggled and guffawed and paid attention every minute, fully entertained. My kids did, too; in fact, this may turn out to be a family favorite. (Except for Alex. He’s ten years old, and suddenly too cool for things that are self-consciously hokey. His loss.)
(As is par for the course for Americanized martial arts flicks, the seven kids in question are Chinese, not Japanese, but at least the “Ninja” appellation isn’t quite as misplaced as it usually is, as at least one of the kids likes to dress up in ninja attire.)

Isn’t this where they turn into Voltron or something?
We’re introduced to the seven during the opening credits, as they show their moves by beating up generic adults. bear with me here, as the text got mangled by the pan-&-scan framing:
  • Little Chilli (Chiao something, our token female)
  • Little Fatty (Yang Wei something)
  • Bumpkin (Tsu Yu Ta)
  • Little Elf (Lin Tung something)
  • Rocky (Cheng Wei Pai)
  • Two Teeth (Wang Chi Chen)
  • something Hsiao Mao (Chang Chai something)
Which really doesn’t help as much as you’d think, since one of the kids is addressed as “Dummy” consistently throughout the movie. The perils of international cinema.
Okay. Anyway. Six of our seven get to the airport in their individual styles (parachuting, sparking skateboard, ninja scurry, etc.) to greet the seventh, Rocky, who’s back for a visit from the United States. These kids are somewhere between eight and ten years old, so it’s no surprise that Rocky’s showing a little bit of extra interest in lone girl Chilli. Chilli is also the only one whose parents are even mentioned, and that just to explain their absence; they went on a trip and left her in the protection of her chauffeur (whose name I never caught, so he’ll just be “chauffeur” for the duration), whom Chilli delights in tormenting and eluding. No parents or guardians are ever mentioned for the others. Even Rocky is just fine flying pan-Pacific flights with no adult accompaniment and no adults to meet him on the Hong Kong side.

Wait, don’t tell me — he’s a bad guy, right?
The kids head out for a celebratory restaurant dinner, where Rocky impresses them all with his American finesse in ordering steak. (“Medium? Don’t you want a big one?) But Chilli notices that the table across from theirs is occupied by less savory sorts — specifically, a bunch of gangsters, negotiating for the sale of a diamond with Helen Chang and her whitejacketed companion. When the gangsters try a double-cross, the whole restaurant explodes in a flurry of fu fighting, with the kids immediately defending themselves and holding their own. In fact, as far as this movie demonstrates, the only person in Hong Kong who doesn’t know kung fu is the chauffeur, who snuck in against Chilli’s wishes to keep an eye on her and ends up wandering into the wrong end of too many fists and feet.
Well, the kids finally give their meal up for lost and head out to the mall, where Survivor’s “Burning Heart” is playing in a continuous loop (and I’m betting they didn’t make any licensing fees of this, either). Meanwhile, Helen and Whitejacket escape with their diamond, and the head of this little group of gangsters (whom I shall dub The Smirker) has to report back to the Big Boss his failure. The Big Boss dresses in a white suit and hat, speaks with a nasal sneer, and wears an eyepatch. Occasionally. When he feels like it. Not because there’s anything wrong with his eye. The Smirker and his posse are sent out to try again to get the diamond.
And man, the Big Boss’s HQ must be close, because the Smirker had time to get there, report, and get back out before Helen and Whitejacket even got back to their car in the parking garage! They’re chased, and there’s yet more fu fighting and bullets flying, and the two of them split up. Whitejacket takes off through the mall where the kids are playing, and Chilli and Dummy follow the gangsters to see what’s going on. Chilli manages to see Whitejacket get shot and fall down a three-story stairwell; fortunately, he’s still got enough spunk in him to give her the diamond and tell her to give it to Helen Chang. Identifying characteristics? She’s wearing a red rose, and she has a mole on her leg.
The gangsters chase the two kids through a housing development and back into the mall (yup, “Burning Heart” is still playing), and the two of them prove they’re more than a match for a half-dozen hardened criminals. These chases and fights are a large portion of the movie, and it’s sad that they’re impossible to describe for you, but let me tell you that this scene contains what is quite possibly the best kick-in-the-groin gag ever.
When Chilli and Dummy make it back to the rest of their friends, their tale is pooh-poohed and the diamond waved off as a fake, until the Big Boss’s two closest henchmen show up at the apartment where they all hang out: Fatty and Dummy! Yes, I know — we already have a Fatty and a Dummy among the Lucky Kids, but it’s well known that there are only seven possible nicknames in the world, so it’s no wonder that we have to double up sometimes. (I’ll try to use modifiers like “Little Dummy” and “Big Fatty” when I can, but I make no promises.) Wondering about their names might have the positive effect of distracting you from wondering how they knew where to find the kids in the first place. In any event, it’s not like the kids are in any danger from them; when the bumbling duo try to break down the door, they end up crashing right through the apartment, out the balcony, and down twelve stories to the parking lot. None the worse for wear.

Haven’t seen anything that colorful since The Jets last went on tour.
Confronted by evidence that Chilli’s story may just be true, the kids decide… to go to the iceskating rink! While there, Chilli spends five minutes strutting her dance moves to the tune of “I’m Your Man” by Wham! (sorry, guys, wait in line behind Survivor) while Rocky makes appreciative noises. But they’re soon found by the gangster posse. Hmm… lots of ice… clumsy henchmen… I think you can see where this is going, can’t you?
So. Escaping once again from the bad guys, the kids decide to start searching for this Helen Chang in earnest. After all, in a city of over five million people, how hard could it be? Unfortunately, with one of the identifying characteristics being a mole on Helen’s leg, we’re in for a whole bunch of gags with the kids looking up skirts. And with the chauffeur, tagging along, being blamed for it and getting slapped. (Heck, the kids were doing that to him even before they started looking for Helen Chang. The best occurrence is when Chilli pats a woman’s behind and immediately says, “He did it.” When the woman turns to slap the chauffeur, he says, “Hold on,” and gives her butt a good groping — because, hey, as long as he’s going to get slapped for it…)
The chauffeur steps more fully into the story when, trying to get the kids out of the whole matter, he dresses in drag with a flower on his dress and paints a mole the size of a softball on his thigh. (Playing in the background? “I Just Called to Say I Love You.” Sorry, Stevie, wait in line…) The ruse only fails when he pats his bosoms, and the balloons in his bra pop.

“Does this look cancerous to you?”
And then the chase is on again, on bikes, until Rocky gets caught by the gangsters. Then the kids manage to find Helen Chang, so I suppose if they wanted to they could just consider her Rocky’s replacement and… but no. The Big Boss calls and demands they exchange the diamond for Rocky’s life. It’s time for the big showdown, in the requisite industrial warehouse!
Now, it’s common knowledge that Hong Kong action stars get the crap beaten out of them on camera, but it would probably surprise you to see how much punishment even the child actors take during the fifteen-minute finale, especially after the Big Boss unveils his secret weapons: Two Argentine tough guys. You might catch yourself winching as you watch these gradeschoolers being repeatedly flipped into walls, dropped to the floor, and being thrown headfirst through sheets of candy glass (I hope it was candy glass) to drop five feet to the concrete below.
But all’s well that ends well (unless they shot the most dangerous parts last, in which there may be a very good reason why I can’t find the child actors’ names in any other features), the Argentines and the Big Boss get the snot beaten out of them, and everyone’s happy. Rocky even declines to go back to the States at the last minute so he can spend more time with his friends. I guess when no one has any parents, your friends really mean a lot to you!
Looking back over what I’ve written, I suppose it’s not at all clear why I enjoyed this movie as much as I did. A large part of it is the martial arts skills on display; the children are more believable fu fighters than plenty of adults I’ve seen in chop-socky flicks. And the kids have personality, especially Chilli, which comes through even with the standard cartoony dubbing. And when you’ve got a running gag about a man getting slapped repeatedly by women who think he’s touched their tushes — shucks, what’s not to like? (Aside from some of the English-language script. Guys, when you’re translating a film for an audience of American children, you’ll probably raise some eyebrows when you include curses like “goddamn” and “Jesus Christ” and other words like “tits.”)

No points for guessing what happens next.
Best of all, this movie is one of those released by Brentwood for their Dollar DVD line at better discount stores everywhere. Given that even renting a VHS tape costs upwards of two bucks these days, you could easily find much worse ways to spend your money.

Sabtu, 05 Maret 2011

Jadwal Penting SNMPTN 2001

Jadwal berikut merupakan jadwal-jadwal penting yang harus diketahui peserta SNMPTN 2011.
No Tanggal Kegiatan
1 1 Februari – 12 Maret 2011 Pendaftaran SNMPTN Jalur Undangan
2 21 Maret – 9 April 2011 Proses Seleksi Pilihan I di PTN Masing-masing
3 15 – 16 April 2011 Penetapan Hasil Seleksi Tahap I
4 18 April – 7 Mei 2011 Proses Seleksi Pilihan II di PTN Masing-masing
5 13 – 14 Mei 2011 Penetapan Hasil Seleksi Akhir SNMPTN Jalur Undangan
6 18 Mei 2011 Pengumuman Hasil SNMPTN Jalur Undangan
7 31 Mei  dan/atau 1 Juni 2011 Pra Registrasi dan Registrasi SNMPTN Jalur Undangan
8 2 – 24 Mei 2011 Pendaftaran SNMPTN Jalur Ujian Tertulis/Keterampilan
9 31 Mei – 1 Juni 2011
Pelaksanaan Ujian Tertulis
10 3 – 4 Juni 2011
Pelaksanaan Ujian Keterampilan
11 26 – 28 Juni 2011 Penetapan Hasil SNMPTN Jalur Ujian Tertulis/Keterampilan
12 30 Juni 2011 Pengumuman Hasil SNMPTN Jalur Ujian Tertulis/Keterampilan
13 Juli 2011 Penerimaan Mahasiswa Baru Jalur Seleksi Mandiri PTN
* Semua Jadwal ini sudah ada di halaman Agenda

Pendaftaran SNMPTN Jalur Undangan 2011

Bagi Kepala Sekolah dan siswa pelamar:
Mohon untuk tidak melakukan pendaftaran pada hari-hari terakhir agar proses pendaftaran Anda tidak terganggu karena akses sistem yang lambat (akibat padatnya akses pada hari-hari terakhir).

Alamat Kontak

Call Center SNMPTN 2011: 0804-1-450-450
Helpdesk SNMPTN 2011:
Unduh Panduan Pendaftaran SN


Pendaftaran SNMPTN 2011 jalur ujian tertulis dan/atau keterampilan dapat dilakukan secara online melalui laman (website) :
    1. Seleksi
      1. Lulus Ujian Nasional SMA/MA/SMK/MAK atau yang setara tahun 2009, 2010, dan 2011. Bagi lulusan tahun 2009 dan 2010, memiliki ijazah SMA/MA/SMK/MAK atau yang setara dan bagi lulusan tahun 2011 telah memiliki Surat Keterangan Lulus (SKL) dari Kepala Sekolah yang dilengkapi dengan pasfoto yang bersangkutan dan dicap.
      2. Memiliki kesehatan yang memadai, sehingga tidak mengganggu kelancaran proses pembelajaran di perguruan tinggi.
      3. Tidak buta warna bagi program studi tertentu.
    2. Penerimaan
      Lulus Ujian Nasional, lulus ujian tertulis dan atau keterampilan SNMPTN 2011, sehat, dan memenuhi persyaratan lain yang ditentukan oleh masing-masing PTN penerima.
    Pendaftaran SNMPTN jalur ujian tertulis dan/atau keterampilan dilakukan oleh calon peserta secara online melalui internet dari manapun.
    Peserta ujian dapat memilih Program Studi di setiap PTN di luar wilayah tempat peserta mengikuti ujian. Tempat ujian tidak merupakan kriteria penerimaan, sehingga peserta ujian tidak harus mengikuti ujian di tempat Program Studi atau Perguruan Tinggi Negeri yang menjadi pilihannya. Peserta dapat memilih lokasi ujian yang dikehendaki.
    1. Ujian Tertulis
      1. Tes Potensi Akademik (TPA)
      2. Tes Bidang Studi Prediktif (TBSP):
        1. Tes Bidang Studi Dasar terdiri atas mata ujian Matematika Dasar, Bahasa Indonesia, dan Bahasa Inggris.
        2. Tes Bidang Studi IPA terdiri atas mata ujian Matematika, Biologi, Kimia, dan Fisika.
        3. Tes Bidang Studi IPS terdiri atas mata ujian Sosiologi, Sejarah, Geografi, dan Ekonomi.
    2. Ujian Keterampilan untuk program studi di bidang ilmu keolahragaan dan/atau kesenian.
    Peserta ujian yang memilih program studi Keolahragaan dan/atau Kesenian diwajibkan mengikuti Ujian Keterampilan yang dilaksanakan dua hari setelah pelaksanaan ujian tertulis. Peserta Ujian Keterampilan dapat mengikuti ujian di perguruan tinggi negeri (PTN) yang memiliki program studi yang mempersyaratkan Ujian Keterampilan sesuai dengan pilihan peserta atau PTN terdekat dari tempat pendaftaran peserta yang memiliki program studi yang mempersyaratkan Ujian Keterampilan sesuai dengan pilihan peserta. Program studi penyelenggara secara lengkap dapat dilihat pada Daftar Program studi di laman (website) SNMPTN 2011.
    1. Pendaftaran : 2 - 24 Mei 2011
    2. Ujian Tertulis
      Selasa, 31 Mei 2011 : Tes Potensi Akademik
          Tes Bidang Studi Dasar
      Rabu, 1 Juni 2011 : Tes Bidang Studi IPA
          Tes Bidang Studi IPS
    3. Ujian  Keterampilan
      Ujian Keterampilan dilaksanakan pada tanggal 3 dan 4 Juni 2011.
    1. Program Studi yang tidak mengadakan Ujian Keterampilan, proporsi bobotnya adalah sebagai berikut:
      1. Tes Potensi Akademik (TPA)                 : 30%
      2. Tes Bidang Studi Prediktif (TBSP)          : 70%
    2. Program studi yang mengadakan Ujian Keterampilan, proporsi bobotnya adalah sebagai berikut:
      Program studi keolahragaan:
      1. Ujian Tulis                        : 50%
      2. Ujian Keterampilan            : 50%
      Program studi kesenian:
      1. Ujian Tulis                        : 40%
      2. Ujian Keterampilan            : 60%
    Penilaian hasil ujian menggunakan ketentuan sebagai berikut:
    Jawaban BENAR : + 4
    Jawaban SALAH : -  1
    Tidak Menjawab :   0

    Setiap mata ujian akan dinilai berdasarkan peringkat dengan skala nol sampai seratus sebelum nilai tersebut dijumlahkan dengan nilai mata ujian lainnya. Oleh karena itu, setiap mata ujian harus dikerjakan sebaik mungkin dan tidak ada yang diabaikan.
    Kelompok ujian SNMPTN terbagi menjadi 3 (tiga):
    1. Kelompok Ujian IPA
    2. Kelompok Ujian IPS
    3. Kelompok Ujian IPC
    Setiap peserta dapat mengikuti kelompok Ujian IPA, IPS, atau IPC tidak harus sesuai dengan jurusan SMA/MA/SMK/MAK yang bersangkutan.
    1. Program Studi yang ada di Perguruan Tinggi Negeri dibagi menjadi dua kelompok, yaitu Program Studi kelompok IPA dan IPS.
    2. Setiap peserta kelompok ujian IPA/IPS dapat memilih sebanyak-banyaknya dua program studi sesuai dengan kelompok ujian yang diikuti.
    3. Setiap peserta kelompok ujian IPC dapat memilih tiga program studi dengan catatan sekurang-kurangnya satu program studi kelompok IPA dan satu program studi kelompok IPS.
    4. Urutan pilihan Program Studi merupakan prioritas pilihan.
    5. Peserta ujian yang memilih hanya satu program studi boleh memilih program studi dari PTN di wilayah mana saja (lintas wilayah).
    6. Peserta ujian yang memilih dua program studi atau lebih, salah satu program studi tersebut harus merupakan program studi dari PTN yang berada dalam satu wilayah dengan tempat peserta mengikuti ujian. Pilihan yang lain dapat merupakan program studi dari PTN di luar wilayahnya (lintas wilayah).
    7. Daftar program studi, daya tampung tahun 2011, dan jumlah peminat tahun 2010 akan dicantumkan dalam Buku Panduan Peserta yang dapat dilihat di laman (website)
    1. Rp150.000,00 (Seratus lima puluh ribu rupiah) per peserta untuk kelompok IPA atau Kelompok IPS.
    2. Rp175.000,00 (Seratus tujuh puluh lima ribu rupiah) per peserta untuk kelompok IPC (IPA + IPS).
    3. Rp150.000,- (Seratus lima puluh ribu rupiah) per peserta per ujian  keterampilan bagi yang memilih program studi yang mempersyaratkan ujian keterampilan.
    4. Biaya tersebut disetor ke Bank Mandiri. Biaya yang sudah disetor tersebut tidak dapat ditarik kembali dengan alasan apapun.
    Pendaftaran online dapat dilakukan dari manapun melalui website dengan tata cara sebagai berikut:
    1. Calon peserta membayar biaya ujian mulai tanggal 2 Mei 2011 pukul 08.00 WIB sampai dengan 24 Mei 2011 pukul 12.00 WIB melalui Loket/ATM/Internet Banking Bank Mandiri. Pendaftaran secara online ditutup pada tanggal 24 Mei 2011 pukul 16.00 WIB.
    2. Ketika melakukan pembayaran, calon peserta harus memasukkan nomor kartu identitas calon peserta (KTP/SIM/Paspor Indonesia/Kartu Keluarga) dan memilih kelompok ujian yang dikehendaki (IPA/IPS/IPC). Khusus bagi yang menggunakan paspor sebagai identitas diri, pembayaran hanya dapat dilakukan melalui Loket atau Internet Banking.
    3. Setelah melakukan pembayaran, calon peserta akan menerima bukti pembayaran yang berisi: (a) Nomor Identitas calon peserta, dan (b) PIN SNMPTN sepanjang 16 karakter.
      PERHATIAN: Nomor Identitas dan PIN SNMPTN ini bersifat sangat rahasia, tidak boleh diperlihatkan pada orang lain dan hanya dapat dipergunakan untuk melakukan pendaftaran online satu kali saja.  Konsekuensi kelalaian menjaga kerahasiaan informasi tersebut sepenuhnya menjadi tanggung jawab calon peserta.
    4. Calon peserta melakukan pendaftaran secara online (melalui Internet) dengan mengunjungi website dengan alamat dan memilih menu Pendaftaran. Untuk melakukan pendaftaran secara online, calon peserta harus menyiapkan:
      1. Bukti pembayaran.
      2. Kartu identitas yang dipakai ketika melakukan pembayaran.
      3. Fotokopi ijazah/tanda lulus.
      4. File pasfoto berwarna ukuran 4 x 6 cm (terbaru), berformat JPG atau PNG, dengan ukuran maksimum 100 KB.
    5. Calon peserta harus melakukan Login dengan memasukkan Nomor Identitas dan PIN SNMPTN yang tercantum dalam bukti pembayaran.
    6. Calon peserta mengisi borang (formulir) pendaftaran online sesuai dengan petunjuk yang ada secara benar. Semua informasi yang diisikan dalam borang ini harus benar. Kesalahan/kecurangan dalam pengisian borang ini berakibat pembatalan penerimaan di PTN yang dituju.
    7. Calon peserta harus menyimpan dan mencetak file Kartu Bukti Pendaftaran online.
    8. Calon peserta menandatangani Kartu Bukti Pendaftaran tersebut. Kartu Bukti Pendaftaran yang telah ditandatangani berlaku sebagai Kartu Tanda Peserta SNMPTN 2011. Kartu ini harus disimpan dengan baik dan dibawa ketika mengikuti ujian. Calon peserta telah resmi dinyatakan sebagai peserta ujian SNMPTN 2011.
    Tutorial tatacara pendaftaran ujian tertulis dan atau keterampilan dapat diunduh (download) di website dengan alamat mulai tanggal 25 Januari 2011.
    Pada tahun 2011, Program Bantuan Biaya Pendidikan (Bidik Misi) dari Kementerian Pendidikan Nasional bagi siswa SMA/SMK/MA/MAK diintegrasikan ke dalam pola seleksi SNMPTN. Ketentuan lebih lanjut mengenai program Bidik Misi ini dapat dilihat dalam laman

    Hasil ujian tertulis dan/atau keterampilan diumumkan di website dengan alamat yang dapat diakses pada hari Kamis, 30 Juni 2011 mulai pukul 00.00 WIB.
    1. Laman (website) resmi SNMPTN 2011 adalah Segala informasi mengenai SNMPTN dapat diakses melalui website tersebut.
    2. Calon peserta juga dapat memperoleh informasi melalui akun twitter SNMPTN: @snmptn2011
    3. Alamat Panitia Pelaksana SNMPTN 2011 adalah Gedung Rektorat IPB lantai 2 Kampus IPB Darmaga, Bogor. Telp/Fax. (0251) 8423068 ; e-mail:
    4. Informasi dan tata cara pendaftaran dapat ditanyakan melalui HALO SNMPTN 2011 (Call Center) : 0804-1-450-450
    Segala perubahan ketentuan yang berkaitan dengan pelaksanaan SNMPTN 2011 akan diinformasikan melalui laman (website) SNMPTN 2011 dan menjadi bagian dari Pedoman Operasional Baku (POB) SNMPTN 2011.